The first 30 days after deciding to divorce can influence your financial security, parenting arrangements, and legal position. Avoiding rushed decisions, protecting important records, and understanding your rights can help you prepare for the process without creating unnecessary complications.
Knowing the first steps to filing for divorce is important, but understanding what to avoid is equally valuable. Actions such as hiding assets, making threats, or moving children without considering the legal implications can complicate proceedings and affect future decisions.
Do Not Hide or Move Marital Assets
Avoid transferring money to undisclosed accounts, selling shared property without advice, or concealing financial information from your spouse or the court. These actions can undermine your credibility and create legal complications during property division.
Instead, gather copies of bank statements, tax returns, investment records, loan documents, and other financial information you can lawfully access. A complete record of your finances can help you and your attorney understand the marital estate.
Avoid Making Major Financial Decisions
Do not rush to close joint accounts, cancel insurance policies, take on substantial debt, or make large purchases without understanding the potential consequences. Such decisions may affect household finances and could violate court orders once they apply.
For example, California Family Code § 2040 establishes certain automatic temporary restraining orders in divorce proceedings that restrict specified financial and property-related actions. The timing and scope of these restrictions depend on the applicable rules, so obtain legal advice before making significant changes.
Do Not Put Children in the Middle
Avoid asking children to choose sides, carry messages between parents, or provide information about the other parent’s activities. Negative comments about the other parent can also increase emotional stress and complicate co-parenting arrangements.
Keep conversations about children focused on their needs, schedules, education, and well-being. Before relocating with a child or substantially changing an existing parenting arrangement, seek legal advice about applicable custody rules and any existing orders.
Avoid Angry Messages and Social Media Posts
Messages sent in anger and public posts about your spouse can become relevant during divorce proceedings. Avoid threats, insults, or sharing private family and financial details online.
Keep necessary communication calm, factual, and respectful. Preserve relevant messages and records without altering them, and avoid accessing accounts or devices you are not authorized to use.
Do Not Ignore Legal Advice or Safety Concerns
Waiting too long to understand your rights can lead to missed deadlines, incomplete financial disclosures, or poorly considered agreements. Consult a family law attorney about property division, support, parenting arrangements, and the documents needed to begin the process.
If abuse or threats are involved, prioritize safety rather than attempting to negotiate alone. Under 18 U.S.C. § 2265, qualifying protection orders issued by one U.S. jurisdiction generally must be given full faith and credit in other jurisdictions, subject to the statute’s requirements.
